nov_rdhunt
07-07-2009, 02:07 PM
Ok, so my problem tends to be that I find a girl (or she finds me, whatever) and she's ALL about me in the beginning. I don't know if it's because I'm too honest, don't really like playing games, and prefer monogamous relationships.
How about playing games at all. I will sometimes not answer the phone or email back right away even though I want to. Everyone seems to think a little game playing is good. Not really dishonesty... but withholding and trying to make them guess a little.
Unknowingly, communicating to women that you were desperate?
From the sounds of things your girl at the moment does not know that you have experienced this type of behaviour before and therefore she doesn't realize the predicament that she is in.
That you told her that “ it's not right to tell other women that you are taken ” has probably given her a real fright I do not think that this is necessarily a bad thing because it is giving her plenty of warning to either shape up or ship out.
When you act desperate the woman instinctively pulls away
If you didn't tell her and then just let it accumulate until one day that you are fed up and then just left her, that would probably have been worse. She should consider herself fortunate that you did decide to communicate the problem with her before it was too late.
It sounds to me like you are the type of person who knows what she wants in a relationship and is smart enough to call it off if it did not work out. Life is pretty short and there is nothing worse than to have to spend time with someone who does not appreciate or care about you.
How about you stop chasing and she won't pull away?
Bottom line: Even if it means being on your own sometimes it is better than being in a loveless relationship. To the extent that you are able to question and understand your own actions says a lot about your character. In that you are aware how your actions affect others. A conscientious person who cares.
I would therefore trust your instincts to do what is right for you. Keep on being honest with your partner and disclose to them whatever is on your mind. If they are the right person for you then they will treat you how you should be treated.
How about playing games at all. I will sometimes not answer the phone or email back right away even though I want to. Everyone seems to think a little game playing is good. Not really dishonesty... but withholding and trying to make them guess a little.
Unknowingly, communicating to women that you were desperate?
From the sounds of things your girl at the moment does not know that you have experienced this type of behaviour before and therefore she doesn't realize the predicament that she is in.
That you told her that “ it's not right to tell other women that you are taken ” has probably given her a real fright I do not think that this is necessarily a bad thing because it is giving her plenty of warning to either shape up or ship out.
When you act desperate the woman instinctively pulls away
If you didn't tell her and then just let it accumulate until one day that you are fed up and then just left her, that would probably have been worse. She should consider herself fortunate that you did decide to communicate the problem with her before it was too late.
It sounds to me like you are the type of person who knows what she wants in a relationship and is smart enough to call it off if it did not work out. Life is pretty short and there is nothing worse than to have to spend time with someone who does not appreciate or care about you.
How about you stop chasing and she won't pull away?
Bottom line: Even if it means being on your own sometimes it is better than being in a loveless relationship. To the extent that you are able to question and understand your own actions says a lot about your character. In that you are aware how your actions affect others. A conscientious person who cares.
I would therefore trust your instincts to do what is right for you. Keep on being honest with your partner and disclose to them whatever is on your mind. If they are the right person for you then they will treat you how you should be treated.